Bittersweet Part6

They sat in silence for a while, simply having no words to speak. Then a thought came to Franks mind. "Gerard, why didn't you tell me that you were.... that you," Frank laughed at himself and shook his head, "Hah, I just can't talk around you, can I?" Gerard grinned, brushing his blushing cheek, "Awh, don't worry about it, it's cute," Franks cheeks burned, "...so you think I'm cute?" Gerard giggled a little. "You are so adorable, I don't understand how you're even single?" Frank scoffed, "Ya, like that's even true," Gerards expression grew serious. "Don't you say that. Don't you ever ever say that you aren't perfect. It just takes a caring person to realize that, because you are perfect," Frank blushed, a little giggle in his voice, "Ya, so YOU say," Gerard smirked, "Good thing that's all that matters to me," and leaned in planting another kiss on his lips. He couldn't get enough of his taste. Frank didn't seem to mind, intertwining their fingers.

They broke their kiss when they heard the front door open. "It must be 2," Gerard said, sadly. "Why, what's at 2?" "That's when everyone arrives, and the party starts. I mean, it's not really a party, but that's what we call it..." Gerard nibbled his lip, looking at the ground, "So what now? Do we just... stop?" Frank felt his breath catch. Stop? Now? Already? No, no! He just found out someone actually cared, it can't go that fast! "I'm guessing by the expression on your face that's a no," Gerard smiled. Frank blushed a bit, nudging him with his elbow playfully. They sat in silence for a bit. When their eyes met they'd get butterflies and giggle, looking away. Gerard took in a deep sigh. "So, this - thing- whatever, are we, like..." he pursed his lips in thought and fear.

Frank looked up at him, "...Do you want to be?" Gerard shook his head, "Nah, it's just to..." he stopped seeing the hurt look on Franks face. "Oh, no, Franky!" he gathered Frank into his arms, "Of course I want to be with you, don't even think for a second I don't care like I do!" he squeezed him in his arms, "It's just... are you up for it? Ha, am I up for it?..." Frank felt a sting of jealousy towards everyone else. They could be in love so easily, love as many people as they wanted openly, but because he loved a boy he'd have to sacrifice. Not that Frank wouldn't sacrifice to be with Gerard, he knew he would, it just wasn't fair that others could sleep around like little sluts and be praised, but if he cared about one boy, even loved him, he'd been looked down on for it. He was beginning to understand what Gerard was getting at.

Frank looked down at his hands, still in Gerards safe arms. He knew he wanted this, and he knew Gerard wanted to be with him. Why did it matter so much what others thought? He looked up at Gerards face which was showing a bit of pain and stress. That's right. They'd hurt us. They'd hurt him. He couldn't deal with the thought, trying to push it out of mind. His hand subconsciously  tightened around Gerards arm. "You ok?" Gerard asked, feeling his grip. "Yeah, I'm just..." What was this feeling? Shame? Maybe, but it was more fear. Thinking of people acting towards them like they were freaks, because their love was wrong, he realized it terrified him. "I'm just scared..." he squeaked. Gerard held him closer, tucking his head under his chin. "No, don't be scared..."

There was a knock on the door. Frank sprawled to his feet, now freaked by his thoughts. Mikey opened the door. "Are you guys socializing?" he asked. Gerard and Frank exchanged glances.  They said nothing and the silence hung in the air. Mikey just waited for an answer. "Kinda," Frank mumbled finally. "Well, wrap it up, people are arriving," he replied hastily, closing the door.

Gerard looked at Frank for a long time. "Why...?" he asked, quickly looking down at his hands, "...nevermind I think I know..." he took in a small breath "y-you're ashamed of me, a-aren't you?" Frank felt a sting of regret. "No! I'm not ashamed..." Gerard looked at him, hurt and confused, "Why then? What are you scared of? How come you jumped away when Mikey came in?" Frank stared in silence. He quivered. "Gerard.... I want to be with you... so much..." Tears welled in his eyes and Gerard felt his heart break a bit over it. "But I'm s-so scared. They'll... They're gonna...What if they...." Frank could barely take the pain. "Gerard, if they see us together, they'll... they'll hurt you... I-I can't stand to see that, I can't be the one who gets you hurt!"

Gerard wasn't expecting that answer. It was true, he'd never thought of it that way. He stood and took Frank in his arms, motherly. Frank tried melting into him, tried to escape into the sound of his heartbeat. "They won't hurt us," Gerard said, kissing the side of Franks head. "How do you know?" Frank asked, frantic. "How can you be so sure?" Gerard used his thumb to wipe away a stray tear on Franks cheek. "I won't let them," he said, soothingly, "I'll protect us, you'll see, I'm here. They won't hurt you, they won't TOUCH you, not when you're here with me," Franks heart melted.

They stood there a while, breathing in the moment that smelled of sweet love. "We better go," Gerard indicated quietly, "They're probably here by now,"Frank backed away and shoved his hands into his pockets, nodding. He tried to make his blushing fade, but nothing seemed to work. Just the rush from being close to Gerard, and how Gerard smiled at the fact. Gerard took a deep breath. He went to take Franks hand, but then stopped seeing Franks hesitant expression. "...no?" he asked sadly. Frank shook his head. "I'm just too scared, I'm not ready,"Gerard pursed his lips and nodded, knowingly. "Just know that I'll wait for you, and that I'm here," he said bluntly. Franks cheeks reddened again, taking in a breath. "I'm really glad about that," he said enthusiastically. Gerard couldn't help but grin, then turned to the door and stepped out of the room. Frank followed.

The living room buzzed with music and chatter, like they'd never even left. It felt accepting but in a sense, empty. Gerard walked over to a group, a smile painted on his face. Franks hands found each other and he quietly leaned against the wall. There wasn't much else he could do, seeing as his social anxiety had already rushed in to ruin the day. He looked around at the people. They were smiling, laughing, arms around anothers shoulders. So buddy-buddy. Everyone was so close. It was quiet in Franks little world, realizing he never had anyone like that.

After a moment, the music faded. Frank turned to see Mikey pressing the radio off. A girl wooted and everyone moved to form a circle. Frank followed, a bit confused, but going with the flow. He sat down, crossing his legs. Gerard wedged himself between Frank and the brunette that was sitting by him. Gerard tried not to smile, but he did. Franks cheeks tinted red. Joey sat down to Franks left. Frank squirmed, but felt comfortable, he just wasn't used to it.

Mikey sat up and everyone watched him, so Frank just followed lead. A small smirk crawled its way onto Mikeys lips. "Truths," he spoke, almost too quiet for Frank to hear. A couple chicks giggled, some guys puffed up ready for the challenge. Frank just hung back, not intending to be part of the game, just a witness. Mikey smiled evilly, he was first to go. He rubbed his hands together, thinking. "Who will be my first victim?" he snickered. A few people giggled, someone hid their face. Frank just leaned in, looking around the group to see their reactions.

Frank lifted his head at the sound of his name. Blinking, his face blank with confusion. "Yah?" he said, unsuspectingly. "Do you know the game?" Mikey asked. "Uhm, yeah, why?" "Because I chose you. You didn't really seem to comprehend that though. I was just checking," Frank let the words sink in before nodding. Ok, so Mikey chose him for a question, lets see where this goes. Mikey licked his lip, thinking. He peeked at him out of the corner of his eye. "So are you and my brother, like, sitting in a tree now?"

Franks cheeks burn a fiery red, and his throat went dry. His voice barely squeaked, "W-what do you mean, M-Mikey?" he asked sheepishly. Gerard tensed at Franks side. "I mean are you two like an item now, or what?" Frank quivered a bit, making Joey shift uneasily. Gerard put his hand on Franks arm to try and calm him down. "Mikey, quit it, he's out," Gerards words crash onto Franks ears, why was everything so loud? "Well, are you?" Mikey insisted, starring at Frank. Frank let out a tiny whimper, burying his face in his jacket to hide. "Mikey, I said SHUT UP!" Gerard yelled harshly. "Then answer the damn question!" Mikey demanded.

The whole room was silent. All you could hear was Franks tiny, labored pants of anxiety that forced their way out of him. He didn't like this, not at all. He felt sick from the silence, he wanted to scream. Gerard spoke before he could. "We're not," he said, flatly. He swallowed down the bad taste the words left in his mouth. "What?" Mikey asked. Gerard shook his head, "We aren't an item, we aren't dating, we're nothing- nothing but friends," Franks eyes shot open, concealed in the darkness of his sleeves. Mikey felt a bit of anger rise in him. "Gerard, com'on, you have to tell him one way or the other. I know how much you care about him. You don't deserve t-" "He knows," Gerard cut into Mikeys sentence. Mikey starred blankly at him, shaking his head. "Oh. He said no?" Mikey stated more than asked. Gerard pursed his lips in pain. It was out. Finally, he was out. It didn't feel as good as he thought, he felt extremely alone.  

Frank couldn't stand the lies. He lifted his head, looked Gerard right in the eye. "Don't lie," Frank said softly, "Don't make it sound like I don't care," Gerards eyes dropped to the floor. "I care about you Gerard. I do," Frank said, a bit louder, "I didn't understand just how much it would suck to hear you try and cover up for me. I just can't take it. Gerard I really care about you," Gerard shook his head, "Frank, you don't have to-" Frank sat up straight, looking him dead in the eye, "But I do," he said, gingerly planting his lips onto Gerards- in front of everyone.